Those who know me are aware that I sometimes get a bit
disheartened by our inability to fundamentally change our schools more quickly.
The more I examine the ultimate legacy of the external, reward/punishment
model, the more convinced I am of its limitations. As I have said on numerous
occasions, the reward/punishment model works in some instances and with some
kids. It simply doesn’t work well enough with enough kids. We can do better.
Despite my ongoing frustration, I am heartened by the fact
that things are changing. I had a conversation with a friend and colleague last
month who told me that businesses increasingly embrace the importance of
relationships and other “soft” signs of success. Dan Pink offers many examples
of businesses having great success following the principles of internal control
psychology. In my consulting, I find more and more educators who are at least
somewhat familiar with choice theory/internal control psychology. While they
may not be as well versed as they believe they are, they are head and shoulders
above educators I met ten or twenty years ago.
And every once in a while I stumble upon a quotation like
the following one by Elisa Sobo, a professor of anthropology at San Diego State
University, warning of the inherent danger of praising rather than helping kids
develop the ability to self-evaluate and internalize important values, beliefs,
and behaviors. (The quotation appeared in
“School and Self Esteem, or: Thank You for Making Those Socks!”)
“Children
cultivated toward dependence on external praise through constant positive
stroking are at risk for growing into poorly-adjusted adults who must always
look to others for approval. They never have a chance to develop their own
internal resources.”
Like Dr. Sobo, I want kids to develop their own internal
resources and grow into responsible, self-directed adults who work to make the
world a better place. If that’s what you want as well, I hope you’ll evaluate
your use of praise and decide if there is a better way to help your students.
***
As always, if you enjoyed this and found it useful, please
send the link to your friends. Thanks.
Bob Sullo
PO Box 1336
Sandwich, MA 02563
For information about books by Bob Sullo and to schedule a
keynote, workshop, or series for your school, agency, or parent group visit
www.internalmotivation.net
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